Buffy's Diary
November 1, 1997
Part 1

Timeline: Just after Halloween

"I always wished I could meet someone exciting...." he looked at me and his face opened in a big smile, "...Interesting," It throws me when he smiles like that, his whole face changes, it's like the sun coming up when the sky turns all different colors. Even his eyes light up. It takes my breath away.

"Really?" I said, "Interesing...how?"

"You know how,"

"Still," I said, "I've had a really hard day.  You should probably tell me,"

He laughed, "You're right, I should," He kissed me. How do I describe the way he kisses? Like he's hungry. For me. But, not the bad kind.

He pushed me back into the pillows and then crawled up over me on his hands and knees. He was stroking my hair and looking me in the eye. His eyes go right through me every time he does that.

"So....?" I said. I couldn't help it.

"It's interesting that you're so strong," he said.

"Oh....yeah?" I guess it should have been obvious, but after the melodrama with Xander I wasn't sure that I knew anything about men at all.

"Yeah," he said softly. When his voice does that, gets all deep and velvety, it pours right through me, like hot butter over popcorn. I took a deep breath and tried to get a grip. He tossed his head sideways, just a small movement, "For instance, if you wanted to toss me out that window right now, there wouldn't be a whole lot I could do about it,"

"Well...." I thought about Xander again, "It would be pretty close,"

He laughed. His eyes were shining. "Not that close, Buffy. You're the Slayer. You have power over me. That's the deal," I was feeling uncomfortable. He ran his fingers over my cheek, so gently, "Buffy, I really like that," he breathed.

I laughed. "OK, so I can kick your butt if I want, and that's a turn-on?"

"Absolutely." he smiled again, "But you're not a cruel person. You're a kind person. You care. That's a big part of it, too. And you're smart. And you're-" his eyes were moving over me, "You're so beautiful, Buffy," his eyes were overflowing, like they were full of me. I could see myself in them. I pulled his face down to kiss me. Then I started thinking about Mom. Back late, and probably drunk again, so she wouldn't check in. I just wanted to take my time. I just wanted to be with him.

I love his cool mouth. He tastes good. I wouldn't ever have thought that kissing a vampire would be a fresh experience, but Angel is so clean. He always smells good, he always has nice breath, there's always little parts of him I want to check out, like the back of his neck, like his hands. I think about him all the time. If he knew that.......

He slid one arm under me and lifted me up, moving me onto the center of the bed. he sat up on his knees. He's even tall from his knees.

He looked at the clock, and then at me.

"School night," he said, and started to get up.

"Umm," I grabbed him by his belt, "Not unless I say it is, big guy," I gotta admit it, it's a good feeling. I know I could keep him on the bed if I wanted to. I wanted to.