A Christmas Slaying
The Final Chapter

This chapter is dedicated to the writings of Lex, Fearless Leader of the JMB and writer extraordaire. Her fiction is lean, mean and vivid, and has a passionate flow. The entirety of her story, The Most Basic Instinct, is included in this story, and I am honored pay tribute to it. All works are used only with expressed written permission from the authors.

Buffy smiled a feral smile and fixed her eyes on Joss.

"I hope you're starting to see a thread of logic here," said Buffy.

Joss looked at her, astonished. "Logic? Where?"

"In the fan fiction, Joss. These people GET the very thing you're missing. The thing you created and nurtured and now are thinking about kicking out of the house."

Joss gaped, "But....but I-"

"Here's the Cliff Notes version," said Buffy, "Even as Angelus, Angel was still obsessed with me. And I was still obsessed with him. Even after Hell. Even after Scott. Even without sex! No matter what happens. We were created to love each other. End of list. You nearly killed me at the end of the second season, Joss. Al Franken! UGH!"

"Acathala," said Angel, beaming at her.

"Whatever,"she smiled sideways at him and turned back to Joss, "Point is, it doesn't matter what happens. Certain things are meant to be. Certain people fit together like legos-or like-like the two only legos in the world that fit together. Who else could ever possibly understand me? Who else could ever help me so much? He knows everything about my enemy. John Smith had Pocahontas. With him around I always know what I'm up against. AND he's the only person I could ever play rough with who would heal as fast as me. Do you know what it's like to be tougher than any boy in the world? How can I possibly get turned on by a guy if he couldn't at least give me a run for my money in a fight? I'm always in danger of emasculating them. Not him!" she held out her hand, palm up, toward Angel, "If I kick his ass, it's cool, because he's a vampire, and it's designed that way! He doesn't care!"

"It's adorable," said Angel.

She giggled, then continued, "Besides, with Angel it's not a foregone conclusion. It would be a close shave. If I really needed to kill him I'd have to get hurt to do it, because he's tough. It would at least be a challenge. Get it? A matching of strengths. A mating of eagles,"

"And a perfect fit," said Angel, "On so many levels, a perfect fit,"

"You built the pyramids," said Buffy, "Why do you wanna blow them up?"

"He's-he's the wrong guy for her-" stammered Joss.

"Like Angelo was for Betty?" spat Buffy.

"Hold on, that's not fair-"

"You took advantage of a terrible situation. You acted like a bigot,"

"I am NOT-"

"You might as well have been," said Buffy, "You used the prejudice of the community to your own advantage, you used other people's narrow-mindedness to manipulate those two. You destroyed them,"

"I am not a bigot," snarled Joss.

"She's got a point, though," said Angel, "It's would be pretty bourgeois of you to end it that way. It's the way any upper-middle class family would explain it away, to get rid of the foreign element, 'He's the wrong guy for her,'" Angel arched an eyebrow, "Pretty predictable,"

"Which is perfect, if you plan to kiss network butt," said Buffy, "But is that the spirit that created us? I don't think it is. I think that the creativity and affection that went into our making was pure. We're alive now. That's what fan fiction writers know. They sense it, they create from that inspiration. They give us ways to be together. They know we were meant for each other. You're worried about core audiences and reviews and numbers. You've forgotten about US,"

"And I believe you have a phone call to make," said Angel.

Joss stared at them. Well, he thought, what the Hell. It was only a dream anyway. "Right,"

Joss reached into his wallet for the number his secretary had dug up when he had started therapy. He dialed and let it ring several times. A sleepy woman's voice answered.




"It's Joss....I'm sorry I woke you..."

"Joss? Joss Whedon?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry-"

"Wow...Joss," She chuckled with a gravelly sound, then coughed for a few minutes. "Hold on, I need a cigarette," she said. Joss heard a clinking sound in the background, like bottles.

"How the Hell have you been?"

"Listen, Betty, I have to tell you something, and I'm doing it badly, but.....I...."

"What is it?"

"I...I did something terrible in high school,"

She laughed huskily, "Didn't we all,"

"No...I mean, to you,"

"Joss, are you OK?" he could hear her voice tighten as she stretched, "Have you been partying?"

"No, I just....I ....remember Angelo?"

There was a small silence.

"Yeah, of course,"

"Well, remember when he left and he didn't ever write to you?"

"Yeah," her voice became solemn.

"Well, he sent you a bracelet. And I never gave it to you,"

Another silence. Longer this time.

"I was in love with you," said Joss, "I wanted you for myself. It was wrong. I'm sorry," it came out easier than he had thought it would, but now he waited.

"Joss, it's too early for me to process this,"

"Call me at home whenever you want," Joss gave her his private number, "Call me,"

"OK.... Hey, Joss?"


"It's Christmas day, isn't it?"

"Yeah," he said.

"So.....Merry Christmas," she said dryly.

He winced. "You, too," He hung up. He tried to shake off an eerie feeling.

"Anyway," said Buffy, "Where were we?"

"Lex," said Angel, "You know the one,"

"The Most Basic Instinct," breathed Buffy, "Pay attention, Joss. It's all in here,"

Angel stood and walked across the office, which darkened and expanded. Trees hung branches down as the ceiling faded, and the space grew thick with brush and undergrowth. Crickets sang delicately, the breeze was fragrant and cool. Joss rattled his head. He should have known it wouldn't help. All the effects were still there.

"Stealthily,(1)" Angel began in a soft baritone, "The Beast ran through the night on silent feet, tracking a rabbit. His thoughts were simple, uncomplicated, given completely over to the hunt. He was so involved in his chase that he didn't scent Her until he was nearly on top of Her," Angel ran out from the brush and collided with Buffy.(2)

"The Beast slammed into Her, knocking Her off balance. She came up fighting, and he responded in kind, his brain singing at the physical challenge, the sheer joy of pitting like strength against like strength. As She sailed through the air, Her scent washed over him, and every hair on the Beast's neck stood straight up.(3)

It was Her!(4)

That scent was forever locked in his mind. He could not remember his own name, but he would know *Her* if he was blind and deaf. He had held on to Her when he had lost everything else, including himself. She was his mate, and She was here, at long last. He had been searching for Her for as long as he could remember, and now She was panting beneath him.(5)

He held Her pinned face down as he snuffled the hair at Her nape, imbibing the gloriousness, the deliciousness of Her smell. Overcome, he began to lick the side of Her neck, tasting Her skin.(6)

It had been eons, and he had ached for Her for so very long ..."(7) Angel buried his face in the back of Buffy's neck and Buffy took over the story.

"Buffy laid there, frozen to the spot by the shock coursing through her soul. //He's back -- but he's not him -- he's an animal --// (8)

Disjointed thoughts ran through her brain as Angel's tongue darted out to caress her skin. //He's LICKING me?!? But it's been so long...// She tried to shake herself out of her stupor.(9)

"'Angel,' she said as she attempted to push off of the ground with her arms, 'Angel, get off of me...Angel, do you even understand me?'"(10)

It was Angel's turn to recite, "He snarled lightly in her ear as he pressed a suddenly rock hard cock into the softness of her ass. Buffy gasped as her hips surged up in a completely involuntary movement, thrusting against him. (11)

Angel grunted and rocked back against her, craving the friction she could provide. Desperate, Buffy tried to crawl forward, away from him, but he shifted his grasp and clamped her securely to him,"(12)

"'Angel, please', she cried out, unsure if she meant 'please, let me go', or 'please don't stop,'"(13) Buffy gasped the lines.

"He growled a warning, and his teeth closed gently but firmly on the nape of her neck..."(14) Angel said, and his teeth took her neck.

"...holding her in place"(15) continued Buffy, "The instant she felt that masterful touch, all the fight went out of her. Her inner core flooded with moisture. She was suddenly running on instinct, and the primitive need to be claimed by her mate. Her head hung down as she knelt,supported by her knees and palms, her back arching towards him, silently granting permission for whatever he wished to do,"(16)

Angel began to tear at her clothing, and Buffy gasped, "Freeing one hand, he ripped at her leggings, tearing both the resilient lycra and the soft cotton beneath. He yanked the offending garments from her, exposing her already dripping wet sex to the cool night air. Buffy shivered, both from the cold and from the sudden desire that was running hot through her. He blanketed her, his muscled chest against her back,"(17)

Joss squirmed in his chair and coughed.

"And then his fingers were in that moist heat, stretching the delicate walls,"(18) Buffy crooned, "Forcing her to accept him. Those stroking fingers were soon replaced with his cock as he grasped her hips and slammed into her. She screamed,"(19) Buffy stopped reciting to do so, long and raggedly, then continued breathlessly, "The pleasure a shock to her system after all that time. 'ANGEL!' Clutching the ground, she braced herself as he began to fuck her, driving in and out of her in deep, irregular thrusts,"(20)

Joss was panting despite himself. His knuckles were white on the edges of his chair.

"'He was snarling continuously, all the while keeping his mouth clamped on the back of her neck, dominating her.'"(21) Buffy called out the lines of the story, her voice thick, "'Buffy was mindless, held in place by a force greater than her own will. All she could feel was him, deep inside of her, where only he'd been, where only he belonged. She arched and twisted against him, forcing him farther into her aching emptiness,'"(22)

Buffy gasped, trying desperately to catch her breath, and continued, "Angel obliged, using his grip on her hips to yank her onto him, goring her furiously, his lust enveloping him in a red haze. He slid in and out of her slick core, the wetness drenching him only serving to enhance his pleasure. Buffy whimpered as the fire between her thighs built, threatening to consume her. All that mattered was his cock rutting in her heat. He was inside her, and the rest of the world could all go to Hell,"(23) Buffy's voice trembled, but she kept up the story valiantly, "Abruptly, his muscles corded, heralding the beginning of his climax. He gripped her more firmly, and when he thrust for the last time, they both moaned in unison, he from the release sweeping over him, and she from the pleasure/pain of his bite as he found the side of her neck, tearing through the delicate flesh to gorge himself on the blood lurking beneath."(24)

Joss made a strangled sound and clamped his hand over his mouth.

Buffy was crying out the story now, "The violence of the bite sent her over the edge, her sex clasping him desperately as the orgasm ripped through her,"(25) Buffy was forced once more to pause in the storytelling, sweetly surrendering to it, and then taking it up again, "Shuddering, she whimpered his name, all her strength draining away as he nursed on her blood. He withdrew just as her arms gave out, sending them both crashing into the ground,"(26) they fell together.

Angel licked his lips and took over the story, "Alarmed, he nudged Her, only to notice the even rise and fall of Her chest. He licked Her cheek, tasting the sweat that had risen on Her fair skin, and nudged Her again,"(27)

Buffy turned her head to look up at Angel and recited, "Buffy opened her eyes and saw Angel's human countenance staring worriedly down at her. She smiled up at him, then closed her eyes once more, descending into sleep," (28)

"Satisfied that She had come to no harm,"(29) Angel rumbled, "The Beast licked the wounds on Her neck possessively, pleased that She now bore his mark, and curled himself around Her, protecting Her from all others,"(30)

They both sighed, and breathlessly whispered the final line of the story in unison, "And so entwined, the Slayer and her mate slept," (31)

There was a silence, broken only by Buffy's breathing. The couple stirred at last. Buffy turned to face Angel and they looked into each other's eyes.

"I love you," they said, in unison again, but without intending to. They laughed softly together.

"How much more?" came the muffled complaint. Joss's head was in his arms on his desk. He raised his head fearfully and looked at Buffy and Angel, who watched him intently.

"Get it, Joss," said Buffy, "On every level. Subconsious. Unconsious. Soul. Demon. Awake, asleep, wild, tamed, we belong together. We're hundreds of years apart, and it doesn't matter. We need each other, Joss. And thousands of imaginations want that for us,"

Angel cradled Buffy is his arms. He kissed the top of her head and then rested his chin there.

"Time now to call the wife," Angel said.

"Oh, yeah. Yeah, when I wake up,"

"Something I know about," said Angel, "Start delegating a little more. Spend more time with her," he nuzzled Buffy's hair and pulled her closer, "It's time you don't get back,"

"Of course, you're right,"

"What about us?" asked Buffy, pushing her cheek against Angel's, "What happens to us?"

"Well, I've been working on that,"

They looked at him expectantly.

"And I'm working with lots of other people, and-"

"This is one dream," said Angel. He stood and held out his hand, helping Buffy up from the floor. She rose lightly. "There can be others,"

"I-I know,"

"There can be lots of others," said Buffy, "Dreams about all kinds of things,"

"I get the point, OK?"

"I hope so," Angel was dressing Buffy tenderly. He kissed her between her breasts as he hooked her bra behind her back. He pulled the tattered panties off her hips and tossed them onto Joss's desk. "Sorry," he said.

Buffy giggled. "The times I've made it out of a fanfic story with my panties intact you can count on one hand,"

"Hey, how is it that you didn't need to re-dress for the stories, but-"

"Use your imagination, Joss," said Buffy, "We like to dress each other,"

Angel chuckled, pulling her shirt down over her head. He spoke casually to Joss while he zipped her skirt, "And about daydreams.....sometimes they can be very powerful. They can come any time," his eyes darted at Joss, "I should know,"

Buffy was dressing Angel now, buttoning his shirt, "Yeah. It's amazing how vivid those things can be," she buckled his belt, "Just hit you out of the blue,"

Angel grinned down at Buffy as she tied his shoes, "One could hit you in the middle of directing a scene and you'd have to stop and reevaluate. The actors would have to wait, the crew would have to take a break while you worked it out,"

Buffy stood and turned to Joss. "Expensive, " she said, "Delays in shooting cost money,"

Angel stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her, "And they tick off the executives," "Could be bad for the reputation," said Buffy. Angel craned his head over her shoulder and kissed her ear.

"Where to, baby?" he whispered.

"No panties," she giggled, "Short skirt,"

"Clothing Optional, Jill and Lynn" he growled.

"Oh, yeah....but after that I'm craving a little Angelus angst.........Something by Kyra Crown."

"OK. Works for me. But then, I'd like something a little kinkier....Lex, No Quarter,"

"OOOOooo!" said Buffy, "You're on! But after that, something romantic, something rediculously romantic...."

They faded slowly, laughing together.

Joss woke up.

The phone rang. Joss stared at it. Yikes. What a dream, he thought. He let the phone ring again three times while he rubbed his hand through his hair. Thank God that's over. Must be all that crap he was starting to buy from his therapist. He checked his watch. Six o'clock. He'd just write to Betty sometime, when he had a minute. He had two shows to produce.

He picked up the phone.


"I miss you," it was his wife, in tears. Joss's heart tore.

"I'm so sorry, Sweetheart. I fell asleep. Rotten dreams. I'm coming home right now," Maybe that part about spending more time with her meant something, though. He missed her terribly at this moment.

"You just got a call here,"

"I did?" Joss puzzled. Who would call him so early on Christmas morning?

"Betty, from high school?"

Joss felt goosebumps crawl over his skin.

"She wants to know if you still have... the bracelet?"

Joss lowered the reciever and stared at the box on his desk.

"Daydreams, hunh?" he said, out loud.

And he knew that they heard him. The End

(1)-(31), From The Most Basic Instinct, by Lex, Co-creator of The Naughty Slayer Archives and The Joss Mutilation Brigade, Fearless Leader of the Joss Mutilation Brigade, and keeper of the highest standard for Buffy/Angel fan fiction. For more Lex stories, visit The Naughty Slayer Archives

See also Lex's personal website

For your own good, as well as a good laugh, visit the official Joss Mutilation Brigade website